RULES:
Go to Google and type in your first name and the phrase. Copy and paste the first sentence/phrase you get that makes sense. [Or that is awesome. =B]

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Jose needs your assistance to help save his generation from the HIV/AIDS crisis(o-O? blah yeah we are experts at sex. The only problem now is how to avoid that one thing.. lol).

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Jose looks like Mr. Bean (codename: Jalapenio on a stiek)

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: Jose says: More Juicy Tales Coming! (Damn Right! all innuendos applied there hehehehe)

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: Jose wants a career that will involve helping children in any way he can (no! AVID + PTArep is enough thank you lol)

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Jose does your twitter. (only my Darling's twitter no matter how wrong that sounds!)

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Jose hates Jeff Dunham's Peanut. (Why? He slammed his stick in a door and put him in a vegetable steemer)

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Jose asked the president of the United States to help him get his green card.(hardy har har)

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
A: Jose goes to UEFA Champions League Draw For The Last Sixteen (Since when was I a sport's fan? other than soccer?)

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: Jose likes kinky sex. (I do but only with my sweetheart =X)

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Jose eats his heart out. (wow I knew I was a vampire! ^,..,^)

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Jose wears a white wedding dress with suspicious red stains on it. (I CAN EXPLAIN THAT! you see....My sweetheart and I, after we pretended to have a wedding...played dress up... YES THAT's RIGHT WE played DRESS UP! that's why I wore her White wedding dress o3o..)

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: Jose was arrested for Simulating Sex With Tree. (enuff said!)